Here is the group...the other adoptive fams we are traveling with:
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
Second Day in China
Tiananmen Square. Where government officials meet:
The Bird's Nest:
Where Mr. Phelps swam:
Our room, nice and quiet:
In the lobby of our hotel:
We took a rickshaw ride through the historic Hutong area of Beijing (guy rides a bicycle and pulls you in this tiny two-person buggy). Area is 280 years old, but not all the buildings go back that far:
Detail from a beautiful building in the Forbidden City, where emperors used to reside. Now, there is still government operations going on in some of the buildings and troops living there, but many of the buildings, like the emperors' residence, are only on display for tourists. The forbidden city was finished in 1420:
Garden in the Forbidden City:
Door top in Hutong area...the displays above the doors show how rich the family is/was. This is a 4-star family. Before modern dating began, fams would arrange marriages and a 4-star fam would look for other 4-star fams for partners:
Forbidden City buildings:
Tiananmen Square with the Forbidden City in the background:
Hutong area:
In the Hutong area, people's homes are buildings connected around a rectangular-shaped outside courtyard. You might live in one section of the buildings while your brother's family lives in another section of it. Our guide took us to the house of one family who is currently living there. An elderly gentleman invited us in and made tea for all of us. We sat in what looked like his living room area while he talked to us about his family and showed us pictures of his family from the 1920s and on, living in the same hutong. Here is one of his dogs in the courtyard and a child from another adoptive family, Mariah:
Man who invited us in, explaining the hutong set-up and talking about his family:
One of our Chinese guides translates what he is saying to English. The windows look out into the courtyard:
Courtyard:
Bob with the rickshaw driver:
Hmmm, who are these people?
While riding in the rickshaw:
The Bird's Nest:
Where Mr. Phelps swam:
Our room, nice and quiet:
In the lobby of our hotel:
We took a rickshaw ride through the historic Hutong area of Beijing (guy rides a bicycle and pulls you in this tiny two-person buggy). Area is 280 years old, but not all the buildings go back that far:
Detail from a beautiful building in the Forbidden City, where emperors used to reside. Now, there is still government operations going on in some of the buildings and troops living there, but many of the buildings, like the emperors' residence, are only on display for tourists. The forbidden city was finished in 1420:
Garden in the Forbidden City:
Door top in Hutong area...the displays above the doors show how rich the family is/was. This is a 4-star family. Before modern dating began, fams would arrange marriages and a 4-star fam would look for other 4-star fams for partners:
Forbidden City buildings:
Tiananmen Square with the Forbidden City in the background:
Hutong area:
In the Hutong area, people's homes are buildings connected around a rectangular-shaped outside courtyard. You might live in one section of the buildings while your brother's family lives in another section of it. Our guide took us to the house of one family who is currently living there. An elderly gentleman invited us in and made tea for all of us. We sat in what looked like his living room area while he talked to us about his family and showed us pictures of his family from the 1920s and on, living in the same hutong. Here is one of his dogs in the courtyard and a child from another adoptive family, Mariah:
Man who invited us in, explaining the hutong set-up and talking about his family:
One of our Chinese guides translates what he is saying to English. The windows look out into the courtyard:
Courtyard:
Bob with the rickshaw driver:
Hmmm, who are these people?
While riding in the rickshaw:
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Our first day in Beijing
Ok, how blogger works in China is totally random...sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I can't seem to figure out a way to move the pictures into order...it won't work the way I can do it at home. So, I will add a lot of verbage to explain them all...
We are having a great time...which is fantastic since I didn't think I would, being the cautious person I am. It's miserably cold, but the outings have been extremely interesting and the Great Wall area is amazingly beautiful. The massive size of some stores, population, amount of apartments in the city...it's mind-boggling. I believe this is a picture I took of the Great Wall while riding back to the city on the bus:
We are having a great time...which is fantastic since I didn't think I would, being the cautious person I am. It's miserably cold, but the outings have been extremely interesting and the Great Wall area is amazingly beautiful. The massive size of some stores, population, amount of apartments in the city...it's mind-boggling. I believe this is a picture I took of the Great Wall while riding back to the city on the bus:
People have gone on about how the food in China is not like the Chinese food in America, but everything I've eaten here tastes just like the stuff I get at home...bok choi, sweet and sour chicken, chicken and rice with chili peppers, pork with chilies, tofu soup, etc. Perhaps knowing that we're American, they didn't bring out the things that would cause us to wretch, like a duck with its head on...We probably only got the items that they know fly ok with us. Also cuisine is different depending where you are in China--very different--so you really can't go to one part of China and say, "This is what Chinese food is." I only ate the veggies and rice at this meal, but they were delicious:
Pictures from climbing the Great Wall...the wall goes on and on...
The wall was finished in the Ming Dynasty:
We took a small glass cable car up to the top of one of the mountains with the wall...This was my favorite part of the trip so far...the views were AMAZINGLY beautiful. Pictures I took while on the cable car:
The wall was finished in the Ming Dynasty:
We took a small glass cable car up to the top of one of the mountains with the wall...This was my favorite part of the trip so far...the views were AMAZINGLY beautiful. Pictures I took while on the cable car:
The icy cold wind was cutting up there. We got our excercise and went a little farther than the other fams. We realized how far we went when we turned around and had to walk back up a LOT of stairs...ha ha:
On the way to the Great Wall:
Thursday, November 20, 2008
Dec. 8!
We're leaving Dec. 2 for China to get our son, coming home Dec. 17, and will post to our blog while we're there...We will meet our Ben on Dec. 8 in Nanjing, the capital of his province!
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
snow
It snowed for the first time on Sunday. :o(
However, I must say it was really peaceful when I let the dogs out in the evening and small snowflakes came gently streaming down.
However, I must say it was really peaceful when I let the dogs out in the evening and small snowflakes came gently streaming down.
Monday, November 3, 2008
Birthday bash, Halloween costume party, and itty bitty high school reunion all in one
This was a birthday celebration for Jimmy turning 2 and a mini high school reunion for Johanna and Cathy Yanez, Denise Perry, Sheila Janota Cornyn, Rob Cornyn, and myself.
Aw shucks, I'm barefoot and pregnant 'gain, honey.
Rob and Bob, a couple of cool guys. Rock on!
Oriental lady Sheila
Johanna and the birthday boy, Jimmy.
Jo with hubbie James.
Cathy with Jo and James's precious baby Angelina:
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Questions asked of adoptive moms and answers I like
Ok, I have already experienced the majority of these questions and I don't even have my son yet. I went on an Internet search tonight after again hearing a comment today about how people should only adopt from the U.S. and found some answers I like. The third, fifth, and last answers are my own making.
1. The number 1 most offensive thing that has been said to me in some form or has been hinted at: Why didn't you adopt from the United States? There are a lot of orphans right here who need adopting. This question especially confounds me since the people asking are always profoundly hypocritical, as they selfishly chose to bear their own children instead of adopting ANY orphans and yet, they think they have the right to tell you which orphans are more important in this world. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with the selfish desire to give birth, of course. God built women that way and meant for women (not all women) to take advantage of this desire, if it's in His will. But, it is a choice over adoption. Is this the man with the log in his eye trying to get the splinter out of another's eye, as the Biblical metaphor goes? Not that I think I have a splinter. Why in the world would American orphans be more important than orphans in other countries? That coldness is so highly offensive to my senses. An orphan is an orphan who needs a home, whether they are from America or another country. There are a lot of factors that go into deciding whether to adopt domestically or internationally and a lot of differences between the two; every family has the right to decide which route is best for them and it is in no way the business of anyone else. I mean, I wonder if moms with biological children would appreciate it if I asked them, "Why didn't you adopt instead of bringing more children into this world? There are a lot of orphans in the world who need adopting right now." That would devalue their children as much as they are devaluing my foreign born child and would be just as offensive. Asking me this question is telling me that my child who is the center of my world shouldn't be my child. Here is my answer:
Answer: That's a great idea. Why don't you do it? [wait for their excuse and then say...] But there are a lot of orphans right here who need adopting.
Now, if someone is asking me this question because they are thinking that I'm thinking there's something wrong with American orphans, I can understand. I have given people my blog address so they could read about why we chose China. Unfortunately, these people usually don't read my explanation; they prefer to make judgments, as they always seem so angry when asking it. And unfortunately, they don't understand how ignorant and offensive their question comes off. And again, do they have something against American orphans? I mean, if they have such strong opinions about the matter, and if they don't have something against American orphans, why have they chosen not to adopt one themselves? Hopefully, I can learn to answer this kind of rudeness with as much gentleness and respect as I can muster up.
2. Why did you choose China? I think that this is actually a reasonable question, assuming the person isn't really trying to ask question number 1, and one I don't mind answering, if the listener and I both have a lot of time on our hands for my long explanation. However, I do love this answer:
Because that's where my son was [with a smile].
3. You know, now that you're adopting, you'll probably get pregnant.
Oh no. I better start taking birth control [with a smile].
Regardless of the fact that we chose to adopt over getting pregnant, this is offensive because it's like saying your child is still second choice, even after you're matched with your child. When we were told Ben was going to be our little boy, we were overcome with emotion, cried just like parents who just gave birth, and felt his little self become part of our family that day. He entered our hearts that day and it was just weird that he was still overseas in the orphanage instead of with mommy and daddy. So what if I did get pregnant? My adopted child is my child and we're blessed to have him. It's like saying, "You know, now that you've had your first child, you'll probably soon birth a child who'll come out better the second time around."
4. Don't you want to have children of your own?
He is my own child.
5. Why don't you want to have children?
Adoption is the way we chose to form our family. Why don't you want to adopt?
I don't plan on saying this angrily, as I want to model calm responses for Ben, but I think it's good to, as gently as possible, parallel their question in order to make them think. I don't mind the question, Why did you choose to adopt? But, Why don't you want to have children? insinuates that there's something wrong or odd about wanting to obtain children by adoption instead of by giving birth.
OR, the answer I have given in some fashion, the truth: We didn't want to bring more children into the world when there are already so many orphans who need loving forever families. Why not form a family and give an orphan a loving family at the same time?
Of course, my second answer may make people feel defensive as if you're trying to make them feel guilty for having their own kids. This is never my intent and I never say this unless asked such a provocative question. I mean, they're asking for the answer and so, I give it to them.
6. Do you think you'll have your own children some day?
I do have my own child. If you mean biological children, I'm not sure yet. [Pause.] Do you think you'll adopt some day?
This question isn't highly offensive, but why not casually throw the ball back in their court so that they realize what kind of question they are asking?
7. How much did he cost?
He's priceless. Why do you ask? [This is worth answering if the person is interested in adopting.]
Or: We didn't buy him. But we did pay service fees in order to bring him home.
Now, if the question is, "How much did the adoption cost?" while Ben's not with me, it's acceptable.
8. Are you his real mom?
Yes.
I currently explain to people that I am adopting him, realizing that they don't realize what their question implies, but once we have Ben, I'm sure he won't appreciate me repeating over and over, "He's adopted," and then possibly going into his adoption story with every stranger who wants to ignorantly ask about his personal life in front of him. And according to adoptive moms, many people ask very ignorant questions right in front of your child, as if they don't have ears. He also needs to know that I am his real mom, even though our family was formed by adoption.
9. Do you know who his real mom is?
I am his real mom. I never met his birth mother.
10. Is his father Chinese? Or: Does he take after his father?
No. Daddy's a German-American.
This question isn't offensive, but that's the answer.
1. The number 1 most offensive thing that has been said to me in some form or has been hinted at: Why didn't you adopt from the United States? There are a lot of orphans right here who need adopting. This question especially confounds me since the people asking are always profoundly hypocritical, as they selfishly chose to bear their own children instead of adopting ANY orphans and yet, they think they have the right to tell you which orphans are more important in this world. Now, I don't think there's anything wrong with the selfish desire to give birth, of course. God built women that way and meant for women (not all women) to take advantage of this desire, if it's in His will. But, it is a choice over adoption. Is this the man with the log in his eye trying to get the splinter out of another's eye, as the Biblical metaphor goes? Not that I think I have a splinter. Why in the world would American orphans be more important than orphans in other countries? That coldness is so highly offensive to my senses. An orphan is an orphan who needs a home, whether they are from America or another country. There are a lot of factors that go into deciding whether to adopt domestically or internationally and a lot of differences between the two; every family has the right to decide which route is best for them and it is in no way the business of anyone else. I mean, I wonder if moms with biological children would appreciate it if I asked them, "Why didn't you adopt instead of bringing more children into this world? There are a lot of orphans in the world who need adopting right now." That would devalue their children as much as they are devaluing my foreign born child and would be just as offensive. Asking me this question is telling me that my child who is the center of my world shouldn't be my child. Here is my answer:
Answer: That's a great idea. Why don't you do it? [wait for their excuse and then say...] But there are a lot of orphans right here who need adopting.
Now, if someone is asking me this question because they are thinking that I'm thinking there's something wrong with American orphans, I can understand. I have given people my blog address so they could read about why we chose China. Unfortunately, these people usually don't read my explanation; they prefer to make judgments, as they always seem so angry when asking it. And unfortunately, they don't understand how ignorant and offensive their question comes off. And again, do they have something against American orphans? I mean, if they have such strong opinions about the matter, and if they don't have something against American orphans, why have they chosen not to adopt one themselves? Hopefully, I can learn to answer this kind of rudeness with as much gentleness and respect as I can muster up.
2. Why did you choose China? I think that this is actually a reasonable question, assuming the person isn't really trying to ask question number 1, and one I don't mind answering, if the listener and I both have a lot of time on our hands for my long explanation. However, I do love this answer:
Because that's where my son was [with a smile].
3. You know, now that you're adopting, you'll probably get pregnant.
Oh no. I better start taking birth control [with a smile].
Regardless of the fact that we chose to adopt over getting pregnant, this is offensive because it's like saying your child is still second choice, even after you're matched with your child. When we were told Ben was going to be our little boy, we were overcome with emotion, cried just like parents who just gave birth, and felt his little self become part of our family that day. He entered our hearts that day and it was just weird that he was still overseas in the orphanage instead of with mommy and daddy. So what if I did get pregnant? My adopted child is my child and we're blessed to have him. It's like saying, "You know, now that you've had your first child, you'll probably soon birth a child who'll come out better the second time around."
4. Don't you want to have children of your own?
He is my own child.
5. Why don't you want to have children?
Adoption is the way we chose to form our family. Why don't you want to adopt?
I don't plan on saying this angrily, as I want to model calm responses for Ben, but I think it's good to, as gently as possible, parallel their question in order to make them think. I don't mind the question, Why did you choose to adopt? But, Why don't you want to have children? insinuates that there's something wrong or odd about wanting to obtain children by adoption instead of by giving birth.
OR, the answer I have given in some fashion, the truth: We didn't want to bring more children into the world when there are already so many orphans who need loving forever families. Why not form a family and give an orphan a loving family at the same time?
Of course, my second answer may make people feel defensive as if you're trying to make them feel guilty for having their own kids. This is never my intent and I never say this unless asked such a provocative question. I mean, they're asking for the answer and so, I give it to them.
6. Do you think you'll have your own children some day?
I do have my own child. If you mean biological children, I'm not sure yet. [Pause.] Do you think you'll adopt some day?
This question isn't highly offensive, but why not casually throw the ball back in their court so that they realize what kind of question they are asking?
7. How much did he cost?
He's priceless. Why do you ask? [This is worth answering if the person is interested in adopting.]
Or: We didn't buy him. But we did pay service fees in order to bring him home.
Now, if the question is, "How much did the adoption cost?" while Ben's not with me, it's acceptable.
8. Are you his real mom?
Yes.
I currently explain to people that I am adopting him, realizing that they don't realize what their question implies, but once we have Ben, I'm sure he won't appreciate me repeating over and over, "He's adopted," and then possibly going into his adoption story with every stranger who wants to ignorantly ask about his personal life in front of him. And according to adoptive moms, many people ask very ignorant questions right in front of your child, as if they don't have ears. He also needs to know that I am his real mom, even though our family was formed by adoption.
9. Do you know who his real mom is?
I am his real mom. I never met his birth mother.
10. Is his father Chinese? Or: Does he take after his father?
No. Daddy's a German-American.
This question isn't offensive, but that's the answer.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
New pictures of our Ben!!!!!!!
These were taken on Oct. 26 by another adoptive mom who's in China right now adopting Ben's best orphanage buddy, Andrew, who is pictured. Here's what she said:
We were brought into Ben & Andrews room. Ben was sleeping but they brought him outside later and I took several pictures of him. I will try my best to send them along to you. I actually held you little boys hand. He is very sweet. He was sort of like the deer in the headlights because everyone was making such a big deal out of him. The visit went OK and I guess I'm glad we got to see were Andrew spent the first 3 years of his life. It appeared to me that all of the kids in their room have special needs. Some of them reached out their little hands to us. There was not a dry eye in the room.
Andrew is a charming little guy but is getting very frustrated with the lack of communication so he has thrown a few fits. Can hardly blame him. He prefers our guide over us so it will be nice to be home without so many distractions. It won't be long now and you'll be on your way to your boy.
Andrew is a charming little guy but is getting very frustrated with the lack of communication so he has thrown a few fits. Can hardly blame him. He prefers our guide over us so it will be nice to be home without so many distractions. It won't be long now and you'll be on your way to your boy.
The boys look sad but I don't think they are. There was so much confusion with everyone trying to talk to them and take pictures of them. They were withdrawing. Ben said, "MaMa."
Friday, October 24, 2008
We finally have a travel date to adopt our son in China!!!
We found out yesterday that we leave on Dec. 2 for China to get our little Ben!!! We will probably return Dec. 18, just 7 days before Christmas! We wish it were in Nov., but we're still very happy to have gotten a date! Kind of close to Xmas, but what a beautiful Christmas gift from the Lord!
The first time that immediate family members will see us will probably def. be Christmas Eve or Day in our destined-to-be messy house, as we'll be tired and recovering and all in shock, especially poor little Ben. It's quite possible that friends and extended family unfortunately might not see us emerge until the spring!!!, depending on our dear Ben's adjustment.
We got matched with Ben for our birthday and now, we'll be bringing him home to his forever family for Christmas. We couldn't ask for better presents!
The first time that immediate family members will see us will probably def. be Christmas Eve or Day in our destined-to-be messy house, as we'll be tired and recovering and all in shock, especially poor little Ben. It's quite possible that friends and extended family unfortunately might not see us emerge until the spring!!!, depending on our dear Ben's adjustment.
We got matched with Ben for our birthday and now, we'll be bringing him home to his forever family for Christmas. We couldn't ask for better presents!
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Bad, bad, sorry plant year
Me and my black thumb-yes, black, not green-learned some lessons this year, which proved to be tough on plants.
When it rained, it RAINED too much, flooding my poor neighbor's basement and making a long-standing flood in my garden, causing my tomato plants to turn their leaves yellow. And then, for some reason, some of my tomato plants got disease-like brown spots on them, while the others remained spotless. When the damaged tomato plants finally started growing beautiful tomatoes, the squirrels decided to be especially destructive this year. You'd think they could finish the tomato they started, but no, they had to nibble a little on each tomato, yet nibble enough so that the many tomatoes were beyond me cutting off their portion and using the rest. I tried hot pepper powder, applying it diligently, but even that didn't work this year. There are apparently some squirrels who had some spicey tomatoes and zucchini.
I thought we'd try new plants this year besides tomatoes and hot peppers, so we planted a strawberry plant, cucumber plants, basil, rosemary, and zucchini plants. We got one big zucchini which I proudly fried up for dinner before the squirrlies discovered them...they grow on the ground so this was a super easy pick for them. The zucchini plant also grows extremely large leaves and vines and kind of takes over the garden so it needed a lot more room than I thought it did. The cucumbers did end up being a success and will be a repeat next year!
to be continued...
When it rained, it RAINED too much, flooding my poor neighbor's basement and making a long-standing flood in my garden, causing my tomato plants to turn their leaves yellow. And then, for some reason, some of my tomato plants got disease-like brown spots on them, while the others remained spotless. When the damaged tomato plants finally started growing beautiful tomatoes, the squirrels decided to be especially destructive this year. You'd think they could finish the tomato they started, but no, they had to nibble a little on each tomato, yet nibble enough so that the many tomatoes were beyond me cutting off their portion and using the rest. I tried hot pepper powder, applying it diligently, but even that didn't work this year. There are apparently some squirrels who had some spicey tomatoes and zucchini.
I thought we'd try new plants this year besides tomatoes and hot peppers, so we planted a strawberry plant, cucumber plants, basil, rosemary, and zucchini plants. We got one big zucchini which I proudly fried up for dinner before the squirrlies discovered them...they grow on the ground so this was a super easy pick for them. The zucchini plant also grows extremely large leaves and vines and kind of takes over the garden so it needed a lot more room than I thought it did. The cucumbers did end up being a success and will be a repeat next year!
to be continued...
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