Long overdue back home post

Again, there's so much I could say that I don't know where to begin. I'll be honest...the trip home was horridly difficult. The wake up at 4:00 a.m. 26-hour two-flight with long lay-over trip home with no sleep for mommy, nausea for Ben and mommy, a terrifying airplane toilet for ben, and other complications were um, stressful. It took the rest of the week to recover.

Ben is sitting on my lap right now, as I type, and as we have some breakfast stuff...fruit bars and yogurt. Ben is adjusting so well, considering what he's been through and the big change at his age.

Daddy took him sledding a couple of days ago and he absolutely loved it. We went to Target with him to get him some wear he doesn't have, like shoes, a belt, and smaller socks. He loves shopping, trying on clothes, and seeing that we're getting things for him. He probably had to share everything at the orphanage so this is probably a novelty for him.

Overall, we are doing really well. By the time Ben got home, he was through having occasional "unexplainable" sadness when waking up, due to his transition from the orphanage to us and missing old nannies and friends. We have smothered him with 24-7 attention and love and he appears to have fully bonded with us to the point of clingyness due to severe separation anxiety. He is now afraid that he will be separated from us because it's happened to him four times before, at least one time in recent memory...poor little guy...he cries when daddy leaves the house and it breaks my heart....less and less now as he learns that daddy comes back. Today is daddy's first day back to work and we waved goodbye to him, but I'm expecting a lot of "baaba na?"s throughout the day, which means "Where is daddy?" or "I don't see daddy."

Benjamin Youshan Schmid has transitioned from being called "Shan Shan" to "Ben Shan Shan." Eventually, the "Shan Shan" can be dropped, unless, of course, he decides that he prefers to keep his nickname "Shan Shan." It was given by the orphanage, not his birth mother, and his British foster mom who lived in the same city as the orphanage called him Crissy for 1.5 years from age 1 to age 2 and 1/2, but he had the nickname Shan Shan (short for Youshan) last in China (for a year) and if he wants to keep it, I won't take that away from him.

Sleeping is a little bit of an issue due to his separation anxiety. He insists on falling asleep lying sandwiched in between Bob and I. Once he's in a deep sleep, after about 15 minutes, we carry his little body into his toddler bed, which is right next to our beds right now. Even though his bed is in our room, right next to our beds and the doggies' beds, he will have a heartbreaking meltdown if we set him into his bed as if we are rejecting him...He must be laying right next to us in order to fall asleep. He usually sleeps the whole night in a deep sleep, but this past Saturday night became a real problem b/c he woke up at 2:00 a.m. Bob and I had a nice quiet evening together after we got him to sleep and went to bed between midnight and 1:00 a.m. At 2:00 a.m.e started balling and we were up with him for a good two hours until 4:15 a.m. We ended up missing church...guess we'll go next Sunday! Even though he's really outgoing most of the time, I think he needs at least a week of practicing short quiet times before he's expected to sit quietly for an extended period, anyway. He uses his little voice often to grunt to get our approval for something, show us something, get a hug, or tell us he needs to go potty.

He has become quite comfortable and started testing his boundaries with us in China...the "no" and displeased mommy/daddy face no longer cuts it when he occasionally decides to be a stinker. At that point, we have to either look really mad and serious and say "no" in a raised voice and/or set him on a bed or couch. Even though we are nearby, he understands that this is a time-out and stays there and gets in a depressed and angry at mommy and daddy and the world funk for like 20 minutes. Sometimes we cheer him up and out of his funk if we can, to let him know we still love him. Sometimes, he just has to decide when he's through with his bad mood, which he stubbornly hangs onto for a while.

We are now making paper snowflakes in between my typing spirts...He seems to be obsessed with cutting paper shapes right now...even though it's difficult for him and he gets frustrated.

Overall, he's a well-behaved affectionate people pleaser, but does get in stinker-repeat action even though mommy/daddy tried to stop me a couple of times mood every now and then. He's extremely affectionate and clingy and needs us to look at something, approve of something, get a hug, or interact in some other way every few minutes right now, so it's very very difficult and slow to get anything done. We play with him a lot, but he wants that all day. Right now, I am helping him cut paper designs and approving between typing sentences. He had to go potty twice during this entry so far...ok, TMI. ;o)

Awesome things about our Ben: God gave him to us and he's such a blessing. He's a joy and loves to smile and giggle most of the time. He's loves routine and being neat and clean, meaning he likes to do things like wash his hands and pick up toys when he's through playing with them. He sleeps well and is potty trained. He likes the doggies and treats them well.

Tiring things about 3-yr-old boys: He wants constant interaction and it's difficult to get anything done. He's very active and squirmy and goes from getting into one thing to another thing a few minutes later. I've been teaching him patience with the word "wait" and he's getting a little better.

He had forgotten all English he learned from his foster mom by the time we got him, which I expected, but we re-learned how to count to 10 and he now knows how to use basic phrases: mommy, baa-ba (daddy), hello and goodbye (in English and Mandarin), eat, water, car, bus, train, plane, doggies, home, go potty (in English and Mandarin), sleep, Christmas tree, I love you (in English and Mandarin), and thank you (in English and Mandarin). He understands other often-repeated phrases when we say them and he joyfully speaks his dialect to us, unaware that we can't speak his language. However, we've figured out certain phrases. He says "ah-mee-na" when he wants the word for something b/c when we give him the word, he is satisfied, and uses the phrase for that response over and over. He seems to say "na" when he's telling us to look at something or when he's looking for something. Like, when he wondered where the doggies were or where daddy is, he says, "doggies na?" "baba na?" he'll point to something he accomplished and say, "na."

Something precious that he loves to say over and over again every since mommy kept saying it one time when he was crying because daddy left the house is "Baaba, Shan Shan, Mommy, doggies, home."

I will post pictures soon of our last days in China and some pics from home...Love to all and thanks to everyone for their support!