New pics of Ben! I contacted Ben's foster mom!

A volunteer was kind enough to take these pictures at the orphanage on Friday. It is so nice to see what Ben looks like now and who his friends and ayis ("aunties"/caretakers) are! Ben in the middle:

The boy to the right is Andrew, supposedly his best friend at the orphanage. He is also being adopted and we hope to travel with his family at the same time. That would be so nice for the boys. Andrew's family lives in Minnesota.
Ben was supposedly abandoned the day he was born. Since he obviously wouldn't remember his birth parents, Steve and Jackie Fitch (Ben's foster parents) were Ben's first set of parents from Sept./Oct. 2006 to March 2008, almost 1 & 1/2 years. He would have been a little over a year when he moved in with them. It was very exciting making contact with Jackie and receiving information about what Ben is like and pictures from their time with him. If it wouldn't have been for the foreign volunteers at the orphanage, I wouldn't even know he was fostered because the orphanage always tells parents their children weren't fostered. I guess it is so that we parents think the orphanage is doing a good job with the kids...so that the credit goes to them so they can try to build a good reputation? I can't think of why else they would lie about something like foster care, which is a good thing and something that shouldn't be hidden. Little do they know that we foreign parents are very resourceful, that our government doesn't block our blogs and discussion groups like the Chinese gov. does, and that we know a lot more than they think we do.

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Since Ben went to live with Steve and Jackie when he was a little over a year, they are logically the only parents he ever remembers having. Though he was familiar with the orphanage because he stayed there when his parents went on vacation, I'm sure that in his mind, he was abandoned and left by his parents when he was returned to the orphange. I guess that would be like my parents leaving me at one of my aunt's or grandparents' houses when I was about 2 1/2. Unfortunately, that's how foster care works. However, it's better for the child than only being institutionalized. Being institutionalized for a long time can damage a child and their ability to act normal and form attachments much more than foster care. In foster care, they can form normal attachments and get enough stimulation, attention, and nutrition in order to grow physically, emotionally, and mentally.

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It'd be better if children got matched up much sooner with parents and the beaurocracy went a lot faster so they could get adopted within the first half year of their life and there would be no need for foster care, but unfortunately that's not the case, especially with waiting children who have special needs. They grow older as they wait for parents willing to adopt them, despite the medical needs they have. I found out that our son had been on the COP list since at least last November. Foster care parents in China (the good ones) do a wonderful thing when they take in orphans and care for them for a while or until their forever parents can adopt them. One volunteer told me that some Chinese foster families for the Suzhou orphanage are good and some are bad. I don't know why the bad foster care parents bother...do they get paid or are they just mentally ill? I have the same questions for bad foster parents in America. Most foster families in China are obviously Chinese, but Ben was fostered by a British couple from Guernsey and knows a lot of English!

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Steve (now Jackie's ex-husband) and Jackie, Ben's wonderful and loving foster mom, who went back to Guernsey this past spring to live with her adult daughter and grandchildren, due to unfortunate and unforseen circumstances. She misses sweet little Ben terribly and was so happy to hear he's soon going to a loving forever home:These are pics Jackie sent us from this past Christmas. He's changed so much already. Through all the wonderful information and pictures from Jackie and the volunteers, Bob and I feel like we have gotten to know Ben a little. It's such a blessing to fill in the would-have-been gaps in his life for him and us! I so hope we can go to China and pick him up very soon and bring him back to his forever home!
God is amazing because Ben is so my son. He loves animals and loves to dance to music! Jackie said he would amaze people when music came on! And he would blow kisses to the chickens in the market...awww. That is so much like his forever mommy and daddy!

Ben gets into his bag of goodies at Christmas time: Jackie says Ben has a good appetite and is not a fussy eater...well, I guess that's something different than mommy, but hey, that would make him a lot like daddy used to be. He doesn't care for fresh tomatoes though, at this point. His favorite fruit is bananas. He likes milkshakes, milk, fruit juices, and tea....that's exactly what mommy likes to drink and make...I can't wait to introduce you to our local ZJ China's fruit smoothies, Ben!
He had his own bedroom, which he loved. He liked a story at bedtime; he loves Pooh Bear and the Teletubbies; he also loved watching them on TV and singing along (in English). Mommy has Pooh Bear books already, Ben!

I have yet to find out when the following pics were taken. I'm guessing a bit after Xmas, since he already looks older here. I love this pic:Ben with Jackie's son, Matt, whom he loved.

Wow...it's an amazing stick:

The following are some older pics of Ben. Jackie says the pic of Ben on the sit and ride was taken in Oct. of last year when Ben was 2 years and 3 months, a couple of months before the Xmas pics. Children change so fast!

Look at this cute little smile:

Here are Ben's dogs that he loved. This pic is one of those super cute child and pet photos:

Updates on Ben!

I managed to get in contact with English-speaking (American and Australian) volunteers working at Ben's orphanage who have graciously spent their time writing e-mails to me, describing Ben and his orphanage, trying to find more recent pictures, and measuring him for me! It looks like he's ready for 3T right now and will be in 3T through the winter, since he's on the lower end of the measurement for 3T. He turns 3 next month and sounds very average in terms of American sizes. According to the volunteers, he's not the introverted child described in the referral report at all...He sounds outgoing, happy, smiley, sweet, caring, and playful, and he likes to be hugged and held. They say he also likes to help out the workers when they are feeding other children. One thing that was true, according to one lady, is that he likes to look at books. There are apparently hardly any toys at the orphanage and ones the volunteers bring in mysteriously disappear...maybe because it's work to keep them clean. He does know some English, probably because he was in foster care with a British couple for at least a year and a half, and they called him "Chris or Chrissy." I guess it's possible he was introverted and afraid of strangers before he went into foster care. In late February or early March, he came back to the orphanage. He was understandably upset at first, but appeared to be very happy after adjusting, according to one volunteer. I'm imagining he'll probably have seperation anxiety with us. After getting an e-mail from me, one volunteer told him that he is soon going to a new home; she said it in English and she wasn't sure if he understood her because he just smiled. It turns out that a volunteer found a picture that was taken around this past Christmas:

Let's get a better look! Awww...

We're registered for the shower...Ben's info. may be wrong...Dr. Seuss and other books in Chinese!

Thank you to all moms who gave me advice via e-mail, blog posts, phone, etc., on what to buy. I really appreciate it! We have finished registering at Toysrus/Babiesrus/Kidsrus. The same registry can be obtained at all three stores. The registry can be viewed online for convenience by going to http://www.toysrus.com/ and clicking on the "baby registry" tab. As a reminder, our last name is not spelled with a "t" at the end. The chain doesn't get in Fall clothes until the beginning of July so we can't add those until then. If Kohl's gets in Fall clothes by the beginning of July, we may register there, as well. I just looked at the http://www.chinasprout.com/ website again and I would love gift certificates for that, as well! They've got tons of bilingual books--almost all the Dr. Seuss books in Chinese and English--and books to help children come to terms with adoption. I love this site!

I've joined a couple of online adoption groups and I've unfortunately heard that the stats orphanages put in reports for the children could very well be incorrect...There is another couple whom we might be traveling with who are also adopting a 3-year-old boy, from the same orphanage, who has the same exact measurements, personality traits, and "favorite toys." This is either coincidence or whoever was filling out the forms just puts down average size measurements, etc...one mother found that her baby girl was much smaller than reported. I guess we will see when we get there!

I just read what I typed on the Toysrus/Babiesrus registry list and realized that I'm pretty darn picky:
Registrant's Message: WE'D LOVE GIFT CERTIFICATES TO WWW.CHINASPROUT.COM & FALL/WINTER CLOTHES IN 3T & 4T. IF SUMMER CLOTHES, BUY 4T. DON'T LIKE THEMED STUFF (SPIDERMAN & HULK) OR SPORTS STUFF. CLASSICS LIKE WINNIE, COOKIE MONSTER OK. PREFER PANTS W/ ADJUSTABLE WAIST. PREFER P.J.S WITH LOOSE BOTTOM PANTS OVER LONG UNDERWEAR STYLE. PREFER PLAIN WHITE UNDIES. WE ALSO NEED TODDLER BED SHEETS, PLAIN WHITE OR LIGHT GREEN. THANKS!

Memorial Day celebration...summer's here...Sienna turned 8...Goodbye to my wonderful students...

We are about to eat yummy salmon that Bob grilled. Dan wears the shirt we got him:

Here's to another Memorial Day and enjoying summer on our deck! It was a very cool spring fluctuating between the 50s and 70s; but suddenly, Chicago-style, a very warm, humid summer fell from the sky to Chicago the second half of May this year. We never do see much of the in-between 70s temps:

My beautiful hanging Begonia flowers:
I love all the different shapes of flowers of the Begonia. When they fall off, I sometimes put them in bowls of water for decoration until they wilt:
Hydrangea flowers my mom bought me and that we planted. I just love this old-fashioned flower that the Victorians loved to plant in front of their houses:
Bob tilled a larger patch of dirt this year so I could plant a bigger garden on May 24. In the front row, 3 cucumber plants. Behind that, a zucchini plant (mmm). Third row, a strawberry plant and a cayenne pepper plant on the right. I tried growing serrano peppers last year for my salsa, but they take a long time to grow. Also tried cilantro last year, which I managed to kill, but I bought it kind of small and wilty, so maybe it's not my fault! A Mexican student from the factory class just gave me a huge beautiful bunch of the freshest cilantro I've ever seen from their garden.
The tomato plants...a must every year! The two on the left are "Early girl." The two in the back center and right are "Beefmaster." The two in the front center and right are an organic heirloom variety. Ok, now I'm a little disturbed. I always assumed my garden tomatoes were organic; I guess the non-organic plants I bought were grown with chemicals and possibly cross-bred?
This picture is sideways, but the small plants in the front are rosemary and basil. A "garden salsa" hot pepper plant is growing behind them:

Sienna girl turned eight on May 27 so we gave our furry babies their first Frosty Paws frozen dog treat of the season:
Doggies enjoying bones on deck. Mickey wants to come in with his bone:
Come on guys, lemme in!
I'm waiting...

Some of my students at the last day party of my West Chicago class. I was with some of these students since September and will miss teaching them. It was a blessing as always working with this warm, easy-going population. The loving and sweet Otilia leans on me. Angela Mains, the DuPage Education Director, stands in the background with her baby, talking to Pastor Shane of Faith Community Church:
First row: Maricela, Ana, Apolinar (Poli), and Clementina;
Second row: Elvia, Norma, Eva, and Otilia. Anabel and Reyna, who I lost to more hours at their jobs, are not pictured. Rodolfo, who was celebrating with his wife at the Level 2 class's table, is also not pictured:
We were about to eat delicious Mexican food catered by a Mexican restaurant/caterer:

Carolyn, the DuPage Education Coordinator, my super cool boss, split before the food was served so she's not pictured. Level 2 ESL Instructor Gloria (on the left), office payroll girl Rachel, and Phoebe, liaison between World Relief and the West Chicago churches where classes were held:
Education Assistant Katherine, ESL Instructor Aimee, and Mary, a classroom aide:
My other class in Warrenville. The students had a much higher level of English there, which allowed us to joke around in English and do a lot of laughing. Beatrice and Reyna in front. Ulises, Silvia, Melchor, and Alejandro in back. Beatrice's husband Salvador is not pictured...he had to work. With the nice weather, which meant more work for some of my students, I lost a few when Spring hit:
Ulises and his girlfriend were so sweet...They bought our little Ben the coolest package of little animal figurines and a beautiful wood frame, in which we can put a family picture someday!
Our classroom aides...my aide Jeanne is on the right:
The Level 2 teacher, Brandy, and her students celebrate:

Bob and I went to Oak Street Beach this past Saturday, ate at the rip-off restaurant there and drank bad sangria in plastic glasses, but that didn't matter because we had a lovely view of the lake, furbished with palm trees by the restaurant, and walked along the beach and nighttime Chicago skyline after dinner in the warm summer breeze. It was very nostalgic, as we walked there on our third date in 1995 and many dates thereafter. What a beautiful night and date with my wonderful hubbie! The last downtown walk we had last season before saying goodbye to summer was at Grant Park, walking through the gardens and watching the Grant Park fountain change colors. That is always nostalgic, as well, as we had our first date there during the Blues fest of 1995!