Ben's Shower

Bob's parents put together a nice picture of ben with his name in the frame and bought these pretty flowers. How sweet!

Party favors included a candle and a Chinese take-out box with Chinese candy and cookies inside:

Beautiful quilt that my talented mom and dad made for Ben. So special!

Uncle Bill, cousin Bill, Wendell, Aunt Taffy, and Aunt Priscilla:

Edgar and Maria Leguizamon (Monica's parents), Aunt Donna, Uncle Terry, Bob's dad Chuck, and Bob's mom Janet:

My mom, friend Sheila, my dad, Bob's brother Dan, and Bob:

Two of my best friends are out of the country, Italy and China, but I know they wanted to be there for Ben and were with us in spirit! Friends Maryfrances, Andrea, Jeanne, Becky, Rachel, and Susan:

Friend Sheila:

Gift time:

I don't have pictures of everyone's gift here...some pics didn't turn out too well and there were so many gifts. However, every guest was so generous and kind and we loved all the gifts! Thank you to everyone for a lovely shower! My dad and mom helped organize gift time:

Dan thinks about stealing the planes Cousin Billy gave to Ben:

Awww...a teddy bear from Sheila:

Ha ha...Sponge Bob Squarepants!

Becky gave me a T-shirt that says "mom" in Chinese...How sweet!:

How nice of Michael and Monica to send gifts even though they couldn't come. They live in Seattle. Zanzibar bedding:

Bob can't wait to start playing with the construction set:

Bob is excited about getting another toy for himself...a dump truck:

Andrea's baby Gianna finds a bow to be tasty:

Creative Susan wrapped each one of our gifts in a different color of tissue paper:

Susan hand-knit this sweater for Ben! How sweet. And it looks so professional!

My grandma Dot wasn't up to the drive from Indiana, but she sweetly sent along this wonderful Play-Do Creativity Center:

Ben's Birthday was Tuesday

I wish we could have spent Ben's 3rd birthday with him, but he is still in China. We had a service send a cake to the orphanage for him and other kids to split. I hope the workers gave it to the kids; one woman who used to volunteer there told me that she doubts the kids saw it. But we can only hope. I baked a strawberry rhubarb pie for us to celebrate Ben's birthday...wish he could have had a piece! This picture is for him.

Could someone tell me how to get rid of arm flab?

Ben's little cousin

We got to visit our sister-in-law Monica and our niece Isabel while they were in town a week ago. In Monica's parents' (Maria and Edgard Leguizamon's) backyard:

Bob, Sally, and Dan go to Michigan

We ate at the Mermaid Restaurant on the marina in Saugatuck on Friday night, after going to Oval Beach:

We walked along the Saugatuck Dunes State Park beach on Saturday. We had to hike for a little over a mile through wooded dunes to get to this beach, but it was worth it. We came upon the Saugatuck Dunes by accident, after missing a turn for the Holland Dunes. It turned out to be a good thing, as this is a very nice, uncrowded beach:
We ate outside at Restaurant Toulouse in Saugatuck on Saturday night. Bob and I had a romantic dinner there a couple of summers ago. Before dinner, we stopped at the Fenn Valley Winery and sampled some wines. Restaurant Toulouse:
On the way home on Sunday, we stopped in Southhaven for a few hours. We took the nice walk out to the lighthouse:
Walking along the inlet in Southhaven:
Looking at all the boats in the Saugatuck marina on Friday and Saturday nights and the Southhaven marina on Sunday morning was so nice with the sun sparkling on the water and the summer breeze. It was a beautiful weekend.

I love seeing sailboats on the water. It will be fun to bring Ben to Michigan next summer so he can enjoy the beaches and the boats. Maybe next summer, we'll take a boat ride! Boy, my head looks weird in this picture!

New pics of Ben! I contacted Ben's foster mom!

A volunteer was kind enough to take these pictures at the orphanage on Friday. It is so nice to see what Ben looks like now and who his friends and ayis ("aunties"/caretakers) are! Ben in the middle:

The boy to the right is Andrew, supposedly his best friend at the orphanage. He is also being adopted and we hope to travel with his family at the same time. That would be so nice for the boys. Andrew's family lives in Minnesota.
Ben was supposedly abandoned the day he was born. Since he obviously wouldn't remember his birth parents, Steve and Jackie Fitch (Ben's foster parents) were Ben's first set of parents from Sept./Oct. 2006 to March 2008, almost 1 & 1/2 years. He would have been a little over a year when he moved in with them. It was very exciting making contact with Jackie and receiving information about what Ben is like and pictures from their time with him. If it wouldn't have been for the foreign volunteers at the orphanage, I wouldn't even know he was fostered because the orphanage always tells parents their children weren't fostered. I guess it is so that we parents think the orphanage is doing a good job with the kids...so that the credit goes to them so they can try to build a good reputation? I can't think of why else they would lie about something like foster care, which is a good thing and something that shouldn't be hidden. Little do they know that we foreign parents are very resourceful, that our government doesn't block our blogs and discussion groups like the Chinese gov. does, and that we know a lot more than they think we do.

********************************************

Since Ben went to live with Steve and Jackie when he was a little over a year, they are logically the only parents he ever remembers having. Though he was familiar with the orphanage because he stayed there when his parents went on vacation, I'm sure that in his mind, he was abandoned and left by his parents when he was returned to the orphange. I guess that would be like my parents leaving me at one of my aunt's or grandparents' houses when I was about 2 1/2. Unfortunately, that's how foster care works. However, it's better for the child than only being institutionalized. Being institutionalized for a long time can damage a child and their ability to act normal and form attachments much more than foster care. In foster care, they can form normal attachments and get enough stimulation, attention, and nutrition in order to grow physically, emotionally, and mentally.

**********************************************

It'd be better if children got matched up much sooner with parents and the beaurocracy went a lot faster so they could get adopted within the first half year of their life and there would be no need for foster care, but unfortunately that's not the case, especially with waiting children who have special needs. They grow older as they wait for parents willing to adopt them, despite the medical needs they have. I found out that our son had been on the COP list since at least last November. Foster care parents in China (the good ones) do a wonderful thing when they take in orphans and care for them for a while or until their forever parents can adopt them. One volunteer told me that some Chinese foster families for the Suzhou orphanage are good and some are bad. I don't know why the bad foster care parents bother...do they get paid or are they just mentally ill? I have the same questions for bad foster parents in America. Most foster families in China are obviously Chinese, but Ben was fostered by a British couple from Guernsey and knows a lot of English!

**********************************************

Steve (now Jackie's ex-husband) and Jackie, Ben's wonderful and loving foster mom, who went back to Guernsey this past spring to live with her adult daughter and grandchildren, due to unfortunate and unforseen circumstances. She misses sweet little Ben terribly and was so happy to hear he's soon going to a loving forever home:These are pics Jackie sent us from this past Christmas. He's changed so much already. Through all the wonderful information and pictures from Jackie and the volunteers, Bob and I feel like we have gotten to know Ben a little. It's such a blessing to fill in the would-have-been gaps in his life for him and us! I so hope we can go to China and pick him up very soon and bring him back to his forever home!
God is amazing because Ben is so my son. He loves animals and loves to dance to music! Jackie said he would amaze people when music came on! And he would blow kisses to the chickens in the market...awww. That is so much like his forever mommy and daddy!

Ben gets into his bag of goodies at Christmas time: Jackie says Ben has a good appetite and is not a fussy eater...well, I guess that's something different than mommy, but hey, that would make him a lot like daddy used to be. He doesn't care for fresh tomatoes though, at this point. His favorite fruit is bananas. He likes milkshakes, milk, fruit juices, and tea....that's exactly what mommy likes to drink and make...I can't wait to introduce you to our local ZJ China's fruit smoothies, Ben!
He had his own bedroom, which he loved. He liked a story at bedtime; he loves Pooh Bear and the Teletubbies; he also loved watching them on TV and singing along (in English). Mommy has Pooh Bear books already, Ben!

I have yet to find out when the following pics were taken. I'm guessing a bit after Xmas, since he already looks older here. I love this pic:Ben with Jackie's son, Matt, whom he loved.

Wow...it's an amazing stick:

The following are some older pics of Ben. Jackie says the pic of Ben on the sit and ride was taken in Oct. of last year when Ben was 2 years and 3 months, a couple of months before the Xmas pics. Children change so fast!

Look at this cute little smile:

Here are Ben's dogs that he loved. This pic is one of those super cute child and pet photos: